This week for Blogs @ Baruch, I have to write a restaurant review (to be posted this Saturday!). Since we blog in groups, we had to visit the restaurant once with the group and second time individually. Because of my unusually hectic schedule, I decided to just get it over with and go today after my last class.
The last time I dined alone in "public" was three years ago when I was still at Widener, which was a ghost town and I do wonder if the dining hall counts as public. Either way, it took a very long time for me to get used to it and eventually I just accepted the fact that it was a simple matter of a moment of brief public scrutiny vs. starvation.
As I sat in Pongal, incessantly texting to prove that, 'yes, indeed, I do actually have friends, they're just not actually here' I wondered what others around me were thinking. And it's probably what I myself wonder when I see someone eating alone in public - just why exactly are they dining alone? Are they lonely? Are they waiting for someone? Have they been stood up?
I wondered why there's such a stigma about being alone in this society in general. We're expected to get married and pop out babies by a certain age. God forbid we should ever have a spare moment alone lest we be labeled social pariahs or manic depressive.
Or it could just be (and probably is) my insecurity and paranoia about being watched and observed, when in actuality, this is not the case.
I'd like to strive for the persona of -wow, that girl is so confident. she just does whatever the hell she wants. crazy.- until, I get there maybe I'll just stick to take out!
The last time I dined alone in "public" was three years ago when I was still at Widener, which was a ghost town and I do wonder if the dining hall counts as public. Either way, it took a very long time for me to get used to it and eventually I just accepted the fact that it was a simple matter of a moment of brief public scrutiny vs. starvation.
As I sat in Pongal, incessantly texting to prove that, 'yes, indeed, I do actually have friends, they're just not actually here' I wondered what others around me were thinking. And it's probably what I myself wonder when I see someone eating alone in public - just why exactly are they dining alone? Are they lonely? Are they waiting for someone? Have they been stood up?
I wondered why there's such a stigma about being alone in this society in general. We're expected to get married and pop out babies by a certain age. God forbid we should ever have a spare moment alone lest we be labeled social pariahs or manic depressive.
Or it could just be (and probably is) my insecurity and paranoia about being watched and observed, when in actuality, this is not the case.
I'd like to strive for the persona of -wow, that girl is so confident. she just does whatever the hell she wants. crazy.- until, I get there maybe I'll just stick to take out!
This post is hilarious! I'm somewhat of a "loner" and never considered the possibility that people could be judging me as I eat in a swanky restaurant solo. It's interesting to hear that some people really do feel this way about dining alone, and it amuses me endlessly... as I'm sure people are amused when I tell them that I took myself to dinner.
ReplyDeleteWhat's most amuing, though, is the fact that in S. Korea, people don't generally do anything alone, especially not dine. So my co-workers are often baffled when I tell them that I did something on my own... I said to one co-worker, "I'm finally going to check out the museum here on Saturday." She asked who I was going with and when I said no one she said, "is it okay if I pick you up Saturday around 2 for the museum?" LOL
lol that's so funny. I got used to it when I was away b/c it was about survival, but I felt so self-conscious like, "Let me remember my manners..."
ReplyDelete